Today I became almost entrenched in sadness as I listened to the cries from a lady..cries of addiction, drama, interpersonal conflict, and frustration. A large part of this addiction is within the lives of some of the men in which I know, the ones I love. I grow disheartened because I remember when I was in the chains, the darkness of alcoholic addiction, warped thinking due to mental and emotional insanity. I faced the darkness, the cold night, the rain that fell upon my car without surrender. That night, the night I was the lowest, I decided I needed help, and it had to come quickly. Shortly hereafter, I packed up what I needed and headed home...to safety, to embrace a new freedom.
I started going to AA because I knew that was the only way I was going to find out more about my alcohoism, and the way I was going to find a newfound freedom, a serenity, a true peace. I continue to go to these meetings, and the blessings are endless. Today, I am so grateful and happy to live day by day..to surrender myself to the Lord, to ask for grace in the arriving day. Today, I want to live not for myself, but for the lives of others, for my Creator, the Creator of this vast world.
I pray for the freedom of these men in which I work, that their lives would become free...if this takes a rock-bottom experience, so be it, for I truly believe that our lives only find the light when we have become enslaved by the darkness. My heart cries for those lost, fighting for another breath, trying to find resolution in the bottle...the bottle that never ends. There is hope, there is light, and if I might be the only one to shed this light, so be it. There is a God who supplies me with the strength I need to not only help myself, but to help others..with cries, wailings from my heart.
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About Me
- Deidre
- "No one is as capable of gratitude, as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night."
3 comments:
Thanks for the insight into your soul, and Macy's is going well. I love working with customers again. I missed personal contact with strangers. The writing is moving along, I am finishing up my pieces for the slam finals coming up june 12th. You can watch my videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/cranberrytroy if you would like. I miss you and I hope everything is well.
Wow. How amazing that you get to work with these people and be an "after" picture...and you can relate with them and be burdened for them in a way that others can't -- a gift and responsibility all in one, I suppose.
I am so glad you're doing this, and that it's brought you to the place it has. It's really a privilege to walk with you on this journey. I'm so looking forward to calling you Sunday!
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