My eyes are open, hungering for the light, yet darkness is all I see. My heart beats with fatigue...slow breath, is it even there? It is all I can do to cry out for mercy..."Oh Lord, please deliver me!" I cannot take this anymore! Where is the new life, the strength to mount up with wings as eagles, to run and not grow weary, and to walk and not be faint?" I want these feet to dance again! The burden I surrendered at the break of dawn, still remains a weight I cannot any longer bear. The Lord reminds me that He is the One to bear this weight. I reply, "Then why do I still suffer beneath the effects therewithin?"
"Stand and wait daughter...stand and wait, and may thine heart be still, and know that I will deliver thee!" I close my eyes and wait for My Deliverer, and beneath these closed eyes, the new light will begin to dispel of this darkness, and newness of life will enshroud me!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Afflicted Soul
"It was good for me to be afflicted, that I may learn your statutes." This verse has laid seige upon my soul as I reflect on the past three years of my life experiences. I don't know if before this time, I would be able to rejoice in the truth of this verse. Through severe external loss and madness of mind, I have come to many resolutions. I can say, it has been of glory to God and to others that I was afflicted.
The power and raw beauty of God's Word, has injected a soundness of mind and spirit into my marrow. I have been unable to hold onto anything of this world, or that of myself. I was stripped of all I knew, and that which I laid hold. My mind and emotions were my worst enemy, and I so often wondered, "Where oh Lord have I gone...Where oh Lord have you gone?" He quietly asked me to come away with Him, to be still, and to listen. Furthermore, He assured me He was sitting right beside me, holding me as I wept in silence, the cold ravaging my bones. A great multitude of fear and doubt gripped every part of my cellular body, and I desperately cried out for new life. My Savior assured me this rocky and treacherous path, would soon turn into a smooth road, one marked with certainty, clarity and truth. I have learned what it means to be void of spirit, absent from life; however, I have never walked alone, and I will never walk alone. My loving God is absolutely intentional...in all things! There is never a circumstance that He allows which is out of His plan for mylife. He has designed my path with purpose, and with destiny! Take heart dear soul, in whatever travails beset you!
The power and raw beauty of God's Word, has injected a soundness of mind and spirit into my marrow. I have been unable to hold onto anything of this world, or that of myself. I was stripped of all I knew, and that which I laid hold. My mind and emotions were my worst enemy, and I so often wondered, "Where oh Lord have I gone...Where oh Lord have you gone?" He quietly asked me to come away with Him, to be still, and to listen. Furthermore, He assured me He was sitting right beside me, holding me as I wept in silence, the cold ravaging my bones. A great multitude of fear and doubt gripped every part of my cellular body, and I desperately cried out for new life. My Savior assured me this rocky and treacherous path, would soon turn into a smooth road, one marked with certainty, clarity and truth. I have learned what it means to be void of spirit, absent from life; however, I have never walked alone, and I will never walk alone. My loving God is absolutely intentional...in all things! There is never a circumstance that He allows which is out of His plan for mylife. He has designed my path with purpose, and with destiny! Take heart dear soul, in whatever travails beset you!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
My Beloved
My Dearest Daughter,
As I look upon your face, I see everything your soul tries to hide. I know the anguish of this disease that has taken you captive all these years, and I do not take lightly the weariness within each breath and every sigh. I want you to continually know that my love for you is greater than you can fathom...it burns hotter than any fire that has scorched the land. I see the confusion in your eyes when you don't understand or comprehend this kind of love... the kind of love that allows for extended suffering. Take hold of My Word that speaks in great detail about the purpose and the glory in suffering. Envision my death on the Cross, and the great meaning within this sacrifice. My Father knew that it would be more difficult than I could ever imagine, yet He saw the whole picture. This death would mark the greatest event in history, for by my blood, men would have access to eternal life. I see the whole picture for your life because I am infinite. With your finite mind, understanding of the infinite is impossible, and you can only see and feel the pains of your yesterday, your today.
Precious daughter, this present darkness does not dictate the state of your tomorrow. With every breath, you continue to pursue me, and this has not passed me by. This long trial is all working for your good and for my glory! I am healing you! I am building character so steadfast, a fortitude of spirit, soul and body, that will affect the nations! Your dreams to write and speak were first my dreams, and then they became yours, as I implanted them within your heart! This is your Gethsemane, and from this wilderness, you shall emerge as a gem who has been placed in the fire, not to be burned, but to be refined. And out of this process, will arise a woman who is so free, she won't know what to do with such a liberation! Please see the smile upon my face as I gaze into your eyes and call you "My Beloved, Never Forgotten One, and Cherised Among All Rubies!" Continue to fix your eyes upon me. Do not look to the left or to the right. You are exactly where you are supposed to be, yet will not always remain. Allow the highest degree of hope to seize all that you are, for I have wonders anew in store for you!!!
As I look upon your face, I see everything your soul tries to hide. I know the anguish of this disease that has taken you captive all these years, and I do not take lightly the weariness within each breath and every sigh. I want you to continually know that my love for you is greater than you can fathom...it burns hotter than any fire that has scorched the land. I see the confusion in your eyes when you don't understand or comprehend this kind of love... the kind of love that allows for extended suffering. Take hold of My Word that speaks in great detail about the purpose and the glory in suffering. Envision my death on the Cross, and the great meaning within this sacrifice. My Father knew that it would be more difficult than I could ever imagine, yet He saw the whole picture. This death would mark the greatest event in history, for by my blood, men would have access to eternal life. I see the whole picture for your life because I am infinite. With your finite mind, understanding of the infinite is impossible, and you can only see and feel the pains of your yesterday, your today.
Precious daughter, this present darkness does not dictate the state of your tomorrow. With every breath, you continue to pursue me, and this has not passed me by. This long trial is all working for your good and for my glory! I am healing you! I am building character so steadfast, a fortitude of spirit, soul and body, that will affect the nations! Your dreams to write and speak were first my dreams, and then they became yours, as I implanted them within your heart! This is your Gethsemane, and from this wilderness, you shall emerge as a gem who has been placed in the fire, not to be burned, but to be refined. And out of this process, will arise a woman who is so free, she won't know what to do with such a liberation! Please see the smile upon my face as I gaze into your eyes and call you "My Beloved, Never Forgotten One, and Cherised Among All Rubies!" Continue to fix your eyes upon me. Do not look to the left or to the right. You are exactly where you are supposed to be, yet will not always remain. Allow the highest degree of hope to seize all that you are, for I have wonders anew in store for you!!!
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