Silent Monsters

It wasn't enough to read the promises in Your Word, to hear praise songs..they did not
comfort my lonely soul.
I sat on the couch, alone in the house and the silence was loud, almost deafening, and it was almost too much for my soul to bear.
I decided the best thing to do was to go my room and unleash, to weep, just let it all out.
I told God how alone I felt, how I really just wanted someone there with me, a man.
I wanted someone in that moment to hold me, to tell me how beautiful I looked in my
disheveled moments, to embrace me in his strong arms. I have never had this comfort, and this
is frankly really fucking hard sometimes!
I am totally premenstrual right now, but nonetheless these feelings are real, and, for the first time in my life, this day, I am choosing not to drink over this bitter loneliness my soul
is experiencing.
I have hope this too, shall pass, and the Lord has great things in store for my life.
He is building strength within me that will move mountains, wisdom that will affect many peoples, joy that will infect the nations. This is my journey, this is my vision.
These tears are momentary, this life is temporal, the pain is producing fruits that last for eternity.
In closing, the monsters will go away, and I, will live another day, in sobriety.