Broken

Oh Lord, may we experience the depth of our depravity..that this realization bring us to the foot of the cross. That we fully know the only redemption in this world, in our souls, is found in Jesus Christ.

We live in days that are scarred by untruth, colored in "beautiful" deception, souls searching for that which will fulfill, that which wil satisfy the flesh. High and low we search in desperation for the next fix. How do we escape from the fear of ourselves?

I have searched all the avenues of worldly affairs, even knowing the truth, yet so deep in the power of sexual and alcoholic seduction. It sucked me under, until I couldn't breathe. I lost my mind, again.

November 19th, 2007, I experienced the absolute horror and intensity of my disorder, the shrilling effects of chemical addiction. Monsters screaming in my head, God's truth ringing in my heart. The effort to find and maintain a sane thought process was nowhere to be found. I knew in this dark moment, under the rain, hands clenching the steering wheel, that I was at the end. I desperately wanted freedom, but this freedom was death. I didn't want to be alive, yet I knew that I did. The Spirit of God led me to the footsteps of my pastor's home. Battered, broken and helpless...I sunk into the arms of safety, a refuge from the storm. This was the beginning of new life, the beginning of freedom.