Emergence

Within my heart and mind, there is a continuous struggle for the life of Christ to forever reign in this mortal being, and a struggle to do that which satisfies the annoyance of the flesh. It is a true challenge to balance the two..I am finding..humbling.

These last days and weeks have been a quite a rollercoaster ride in regards to the entirety of my being. I have fought for my sanity, I have fought for the right to choose life. This sounds heavy, and perhaps that is exactly what it is, yet this is reality.

I am living life through being raw. I am learning to deal with Bipolar and all of it's life and death, without picking up a drink or a drug, and for this, I am so grateful; however sometimes I hate it.
I have endured chronic and mental pain for some time now, and I am learning to breathe through it all..to be so thankful to my loving King who forever reigns in this being.

More than ever I have asked Jesus to be Lord of my life..in everything!! I am a desperate human without the light of His life, the strength of His life, flowing through my veins. These past days have been wonderful..I have sought the Lord...desperately. Oh Lord, that your life and your light would forever reign in and throughout me. That the power of Your word change my mind and my heart..chemically, spiritually. I am learning to live a life of spiritual discipline, because this is my vision, this is my lifeline.

I have great hope and vision this present moment. My heart aches for the lost, calls out for the enlightenment of those caught in an empty and fruitless world. I choose to live this moment, enjoying this computer, the music and melody of Dashboard Confessional, and a heart which aches to remain close to my King of Kings and Lord of lords.. I am His, and He is mine. He holds me in His hands when the angst of my soul is too much to bear.

May we be a people of vision, and hope.. a people who are guided by Christ Jesus, and empowered by His love. Let us grow in this love, the only hope for a depravity-stricken world.